I’m not, alright.

10:25 PM Dacarouselyn ♡ 0 Comments

How long can one person hold on for?
How long more can I hold on?
How long more, will I continue to stay strong?

I’m probably just stressing myself over the small issues,
But then again it’s those small things that matter doesn’t it?

It’s not fair at all that I’m swallowing everything I could for people who don’t seem to give s ahit.
It’s not fair at all that I’m always the one giving.

I’ve been giving in so much, holding back so much that I think I can no longer hold on as much as I want to.

I can’t keep people who constantly make use of you.
Making you pay, making you wait and showing no remorse at all.

And I’m so upset and disappointed for people whom confided in me, asking for help. And when I gave all my time to give proper legit advice, and the truth. And then they do the exact opposite and just ignore everything you say.
Even after knowing that they’re absolutely wrong, they show no remorse at all still.

And then there’re also people out there who can tell you the world, but it’ll take them so many excuse and months to actually execute something.
Am I suppose to still continue trusting you to upset myself?

I’ll really miss those good memories I had with these people,

But I can’t do it anymore,
I can’t live the rest of 2019 reprimanding myself thinking I’ve done wrong,
Thinking that I’ve not been giving enough,
Or that I have been putting myself in their shoes.
I did, I have had done so.

But all I got in return is all these unreciprocated feelings.
It’s not fair, it’s killing me so badly but it’s not affecting anybody at all.

I’m feeling so stuffed.
I’m so done trying to stay awake thinking about what I can do for everybody else,
I’m so done with insomnia,
So done with crying myself to sleep.

I’m so done being the only one helping myself,
I’m so done trying to make myself and people around me happy.

But I’m not.
I’m not.
I’m really not alright,

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